"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
Randomize
