shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
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