Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
It's 9:07 in the morning and I am so hungover right now I'm about to take the kids I'm babysitting to mf'ing Popeyes bc that's all I want in this world
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
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