Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
Doctor took one look at my penis and said, 'you don't have herpes, you just masturbate too much'
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
Randomize
