i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
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