My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
I'm not ok right now. I just walked in on a 600lb woman passed out on the toilet and she walked out and tried to eat her cell phone. I'm on acid I think.
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
Randomize
