I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
I really don't understand how I cannot figure out how to work a fucking can opener when I'm hungover. Yet I still retained the ability to take a perfectly symmetrical picture of my erect penis and send it to every person in Matt's contacts the night before.
giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
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