Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
Hey, this is a mass text. I have a hospital bill from November, and I don't know from what. Did anyone bring me to the hospital on a drunken night that I don't remember...?
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
Randomize
