after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
Walked in the bathroom at work and my boss was taking a shit with the stall wide open and responded "oh yeah, I forgot you never have been to prison "
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
I think I gave the bachelor party directions to the breweries next to my dentist so that they could take me to my appointment and pick me up afterward...
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
Randomize
