You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
I take back everything I said about communal showers
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
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