white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
Randomize
