Things I find upon waking: a gay man, a straight girl both clad in web bathing suits, a full bathtub, an empyt bottle of jamesons at the bottom and a scuba mask
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
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