5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
Randomize
