PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
Randomize
