I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
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