p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
Randomize
