question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
Randomize
