end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
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