i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
Randomize
