Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
Randomize
