TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
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