god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
When you told me you were coming to my show, I didn't know you were bringing Satan and Brokeback Mountain with you.
i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His uber religious wife caught us having anal sex in their bed..... she called us sodomites. Can you even be a sodomite if you're a girl?
You're not a sodomite. You're a whore. Tell her to get the insults right. Did she try to save you with Jesus?
She said she'd pray for me. Man, if I had just caught my husband balls deep in some ho, I'd say fuck the praying and kick her ass.
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
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