I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
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