Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
Randomize
