Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
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