Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
I just woke up in my closet, wearing a pink cowboy hat and a pink thong...
I want my thong back.
I hate you tequila.
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
Randomize
