If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
fact: I now appreciate my drunken winter self even more. I just found $20 in my winter coat with a note that says keep yourself warm next winter. I am awesome.
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
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Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
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