you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
Randomize
