we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
Randomize
