He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
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