I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
Alternately I could tell him western classical is just a series of events that had to happen for music to reach the point where Beyoncé was able to pen drunk in love, which is the pinnacle of humanity's artistic achievement thus far
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
Randomize
