I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
This can only be settled by a dance off.
Randomize
