The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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