before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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