theres a dog humping me and im not going to stop it... i really need to get laid.
I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
WAIT YOU’VE NEVER BEEN TO COSTCO???
COSTCO IS MAGICAL
I can’t believe you two made a group text to scream at me about Costco.
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