He uses pillows to masturbate.
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
Randomize
