Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
Randomize