No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
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