hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
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