i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
The feeling are messing with the penis
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
Randomize
