Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
Randomize
