i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
Randomize
