i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
Randomize
