Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
The bartender just legitimately thanked me for breaking the cycle of speed metal by playing mmmbop.
i don't think that has ever happened before in the history of man
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
Randomize
