your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
Randomize
