Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
Randomize
