I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
Randomize
