All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
I’m really upset they canceled the conference. Since the divorce I’ve been working out, I bought cute new outfits and even found a bikini I liked. Now it’s all online. You can’t get laid at a webinar
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