Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
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