He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
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As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
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You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
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