Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
I've got a whole match.com system. Triple book. First dates always get the 6pm happy hour drinks slot. 8pm dinner goes to a girl where I think I can close the deal. 10pm slot goes to the sure thing in case of emergency, but 6 can always trump 8 and 8 always trumps 10. Just blame it on a dead iPhone battery.
That, my friend, is how I bang 50 new girls a year. Not luck at all. It's science and statistics.
You need Xanax blowdarts
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
Randomize
