Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
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