bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
Randomize
