The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
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