How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
Randomize
