Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
Why is there bacon in the couch?
Randomize
