You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
wakey wakey hands off snakey
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
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