you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
Randomize
