Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
Randomize
