grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
When you're all settled in, text me, and I can sorta apologize for saying that your phone can suck my dick. What I really meant to say is that your Windows phone can suck my Android phone's dick.
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
Randomize