Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
Randomize
