I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
I think I just sharted jello shots
Randomize
