i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
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