I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Randomize
