She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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