Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
Randomize
