I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
Randomize
