Dude! wtf happend last nite? I woke up with 2 black eyes and a head ache
You stepped off the curb and face planted the road...twice
Why didnt you hold me up....and why a second time?
I helped you up but figured it was wayy funnier to watch you fall again then lose my buzz....
No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
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