I didn't shave. On purpose
Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
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