when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
Three words: puerto rican gang bang
i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
Randomize
