he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
If you're in the liquor store 5 minutes before close, and you have to ask the cashier for a coin to flip to make a life decision because "vodka takes you to a bad place," you need to reevaluate your life.
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
Randomize
