Why did I wake up this morning with 10 tally marks on my hand and a penis drawn on my tits?
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
I love how my cats smell like pot.
21 Of The Most Impressive Things Ever Seen In Porn
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
19 Parents Had Epic Reactions When Catching Their Kids Being “Bad”
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.