Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
She's like a pop up book from hell.
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
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