when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.