help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
It's just like the Real World with babies
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
Randomize
