god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
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