Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
I locked my keys in my car in front of planned parenthood. I'm terrified of going inside to ask to borrow a clothes hangar.
Just tell them you need to fix a mistake real quick.
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
Randomize
