He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
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