so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
sorry didn’t mean to call you, i was just trying to put the t-rex emoji beside your name
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
Randomize
