His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
Randomize
